Bad Day....

I used to be one that would wish time away, you know I can't wait until this happens, or I can't wait until this is over.... But I have to say, after the week we have just had, I am so grateful that this week is over. The funny part about being thankful for that, is that the problem is still there! For the past few days it just seems like all we have gotten is bad news, well not bad, just discouraging. It has been pretty hard to take. Mainly because I am having trouble shaking this hopeless feeling. I did ok earlier today, but right before I went to get the kids from school, I received an email with some really discouraging news. (Job search stuff) anyway, it kind of just took the breath out of me. Funny thing though, we get in the car to get kids, and the 'Bad Day' song came on the radio right when I turned on the car. Hahaha. To say the least. Then Ethan got off the bus, and told me about something discouraging that happened at school and I felt so bad for him. So we came home, I gave everyone a snack, made sure they were all safe, went to my room locked the door and had a good cry. The hiccup kind of crying that you can't really stop. So embarrassing. I mean, what happened today was really nothing compared to the big scope of things. But for some reason, I just came apart. I have nothing to complain about, that is the sad thing. Everyone is happy, healthy, we have what we need... the list of great things that go on in our family is endless. But this one little email, a couple of sentences, and crash! What in the world?! (Ok, so I am writing this under the assumption that not too many people read my blog, and really the main reason is for my own therapy.) I love to write, and I love to go back and look on past experiences and see how far I have come, and how much stronger I am for facing challenges in life. When I have days like this I think of Dan, and how he handles things. He is a rock. I can't even believe some of the things that are thrown at him, and he should have been a line backer because he just squares his shoulders, puts his head down and plows through. Me, I lock the door and hiccup cry. What a girl. :) To give you just a glimpse of how Dan takes things... when we were living in our Meadowbrook house, Dan was of course in school and it was finals time. (Big assignment/test thing in a math class if I remember right) Katelyn was about two months old, Dan goes out to go to school, and our front yard is completely flooded. Our main water line burst. (I am still trying to overcome my grudge against the idiots who even thought of polybutylene) So, he comes inside, says something about shutting off the water, and knowing that he had so much school work to do, and the obligation of taking care of his family, he changes his clothes, and digs up our front yard. He even borrowed a saw and other tools and cut up our driveway to lay a new water line, because of course, the hookup is on the other side of the driveway, seriously whoever put the house plans together... I did not hear one word of complaint. Not one. He always says, what is complaining going to do? (Although, when the pipes burst inside the house a couple of months later and flooded the kids rooms, and damaged just about every wall we had, not to mention the carpet... well I think I saw him roll his eyes once or twice...) :)

Now, seriously. This was a big problem for us, and it got solved. We got through it. So what in the world is my problem today?! I was pretty glad for once that I didn't have anyone over 6 to talk to right then, not that I could really talk through the hiccups. Interesting too, that for the past few days I have been rereading conference talks. Elder Wirthlin, "Come what may, and love it", and Elder Holland, "The Ministry of Angels" But just yesterday when I was wondering how to continue to have hope, when all I feel is discouraged, was President Uchtdorf, The Infinite Power of Hope. He said, "despair drains from us all that is vibrant and joyful and leaves behind the empty remnants of what life was meant to be..." Interesting how Apostles, teachers and so often visiting teachers and home teachers can hit the nail on the head. So today was not such a good day. Tomorrow is Saturday. I get to be with all of my kids for the whole day, and Dan only works for a few hours tomorrow. Tomorrow will be a good day. I hope. :) For any of you who have a lot of time on your hands and care a little for what I have to say, when you feel despair, cry it out. But get back up, go out and dig if you have to, but remember to always have hope. President Uchtdorf said, "Despair kills ambition, advances sickness, pollutes the soul and deadens the heart. Despair can seem like a staircase that leads only and forever downward." He says this about hope, "Hope, on the other hand, is like the beam of sunlight rising up and above the horizon of our present circumstances. It pierces the darkness with a brilliant dawn...." Hmmm Utter darkness, or brilliant dawn. Definately, tomorrow will be a much better day.